sigh....confused

hi...had a bad week...everything seems to go against me...mayb its becos of me...Lots of tings i do  or did, seems  wrong....i dun koe wat i shld do..mayb i do tink abt e rite ting to do...yet my messed up mind  is going mad....haywire......lost again.....im sorry for making ple worry...im sorry for not doing wat i said....but mus  i be accountable to everyone??am i living for myself or for others? ot be e rational  person jus to fit in??? i tink i seriously screwed up.....but somethings are beyond controll...though some may say  "u hav to be in control" but come to tink of  it....if everyone can be in control of every  situation....there will not be mistakes n wrongs in tis unfair world....im not defending myself or wat i had done...but i jus feel evryone makes mistakes n everyone will face setbacks.....n everyone deserves a second chance or even upmteen times of chances....im sorry...but i jus koe n believe tat one shld be forgiven....jus becos of a mistake, we going to condem them???i dun koe...mayb im silly...mayb im mad...but that is my faith...my trust in human.tat no human is born evil....
hiya im not in e rite mind to tink....mayb tat's wat everyone feels... but who  can say tat they nv been thru times when they couldn tink properly....sigh...i dun koe...do it mean tat doing wat seems to be e wrong ting is wrong??who can jugde who's rite n who's wrong???all i believe is no one can....the only jugde i believe is God...tats my belief...i will only go before God for him to jugde my  life n my actions....do we hav to tink  n be affected to wat ple say?why do we hav to do wat others say???i means sometimes views differ......hiya....i dun koe....is it tat impt to consider wat others  say.... is it fair?? arent we suppose to be in control of our own lifes??i jus feel tat everyone shld be fair...if there's a need for soul searching.....everyone pls do it.... can u say tat u nv do anything wrong in ur life???hav u done anything irrational before???i guess e ans is yes.....i jus wan fairness...i dun wish to be said when tings goes wrong.....im only acconutable for myself....not to anyone......
if i need to be happy...shldn i be e 1 to feel wat i feel will make me happy???mayb i might get hurt again....but i truly believe tat u might get hurt walking.....but if u afraid of being hurt.....does tat means u nv walk again?if falling down is part n parcel of life...shldn we get thru tis now???yes mayb everyone is afraid of being hurt in a relationship....but will u stop loving if u get hurt once??will u stop loving cos u r afraid??? i jus wish to try everything again....i jus wan to believe in the hope tat everyone will change over time....whether it turn out to be good or bad...i jus hope i can giv it a go again...im stubborn i koe.....but i dun wan t giv up cos im afraid...i dun wish to giv up until i try....even if it means having e high possibility of getting hurt in e process.....
i jus wish everyone will understand tis side of me....but if no one will...i wun force...cos every person views on a same ting or problem is different......no 2 person in e whole is made e same.....i jus wan to be happy.......i jus wan to be treated fairly...but if i dun n caNt get  e understanding of ple i need....i tink tis is e path i got to go thru all by myself......